Firsts and Lasts

The Spring semester at MTSO started on Monday. I always enjoy talking with new students, hearing about their journeys and what led them to this place. Hearing the ways in which God has been at work in them helps me clarify the ways in which God has been at work in my own life and gives me pause to consider where I have come from and where I am going.

Yesterday one of my friends posted the following to her facebook status: “Today is my last first day of school ever.” It made many of us laugh because we know it is very likely that this woman will continue her education in a doctoral program sometime in the future. However, she made the point that for her, yesterday marked the beginning of the end of this leg of her journey. I could post the same comment today – Wednesday, February 3, 2010 – as it marks the beginning of my last semester in seminary. There have been times along the way when I have wondered if this day would ever come … but here we are! It is both exciting and scary. I am excited for the opportunity to learn and engage with my colleagues and professors, but it is also a little scary to think that this will be my last time to do this. Sure, I will probably continue my education, too, but this is my last time to do this in this particular place and degree program. It’s a bittersweet moment.

The members of my congregation and I have experienced some bittersweet moments like this recently, too. As we anticipate my commissioning and move back to Indiana at the end of June, we realize some of the “lasts” in our shared ministry – my last Christmas a few weeks ago; my last Lenten season starting in a few weeks; my last Easter sunrise service with them, etc. If I dwell on these things too much, though, it can become overwhelming and depressing. I have decided instead to embrace the joy of these moments and make the most of our time together.

And that is what I am going to do with this last semester of seminary, too. I plan to savor this time – to fully embrace and engage in this opportunity for learning and transformation. I am really excited about my classes this semester: Race, Gender and Power in the Hebrew Bible on Thursday mornings; The Problem of Evil on Thursday afternoons; and Christian Social Ethics on Thursday nights. Yes, Thursdays will be long – but good – days. The content of these courses speak to similar issues and I am anxious to integrate them. I am also auditing Spiritual Autobiography in the Wesleyan Tradition on Wednesday afternoon – hence the reason I can call today the “last first day of school.” I am looking forward to this class, too, as I continue to hone my writing skills and contemplate my sacred story.

I look forward to sharing this “last” semester experience here on my blog. (And for those who know I have been counting down the days until graduation – we’re down to 107!! Woo!) Until next time, peace …

Back in Business

It has been a few weeks since I have posted anything. Early in the month of January, I was busily working on my Commissioning paperwork. (For those who do not know, this is part of the United Methodist ordination process). This amounted to about 45 pages of writing in which I answered questions about my personal life; my understanding of God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the Trinity, the nature and mission of the Church, and other areas of theological study; and my understanding of the organization and structure of The United Methodist Church. You can imagine that I was quite relieved to complete and submit all of that by January 15! The next hurdle in that process will be my commissioning interviews with the Indiana Board of Ordained Ministry on Monday, February 15. Your prayers are greatly appreciated!

Last weekend I had a wonderful visit from my dear friend and home church pastor, Rev. Karen Devaisher. I was excited that she made the time in her busy schedule to visit the MTSO campus and my congregation at Smithville UMC. It was great to have her in worship, and I am very grateful for her love and support throughout my ministry journey. The timing of her visit was just perfect as she celebrated with me the submission of the aforementioned paperwork. J

After the completion of the paperwork and Karen’s visit, I intended to return to the discipline of regular blogging. However, last Tuesday evening, my beloved laptop breathed its last. L It had gotten much use and abuse, and had served me very well during these last three years of seminary. I knew that I would need to get a new one soon, however, I was hoping that I could eek out my final semester with it. I must say, though, if it had to happen, this was the best time for it to go. My commissioning paperwork was done and the Spring semester does not start until next week.

I have enjoyed being “unplugged” during the last week! I checked e-mail on the school computers, but I was not attached to my computer. It was liberating! I spent time reading and, believe it or not, I slept better, too. I realized just how much time I spend in front of my computer each day. While most of it is productive and has a purpose, some of it is an utter waste of time. My “forced facebook fast” re-focused my priorities.

I am back online now with 24/7 access and am back to regular blogging again … really, I am. J I am enjoying my new computer and am grateful for the love and support of my parents, too. I am officially “back in business.” Until next time, peace …

Karen and me during her recent visit to Smithville

Reflecting on the Old and New

The dawn of a New Year is a good time to reflect on what is past, to celebrate “new beginnings,” and anticipate and hope for that which is yet to come. Over the last few days, I have read many of my friends’ blogs and facebook statuses regarding this new year and new decade. Several have written about the changes that have taken place in their lives over the last year (or two or ten!). As I think about the upcoming year and the changes and new beginnings that will unfold, I thought it might be helpful for me to reflect on what has brought me to this place.

Ten years ago, I was 28 years old, in the middle my seventh year of teaching, and still trying to find my “niche” in life. Teaching in the inner city was not all that I had anticipated it would be, and to be quite honest, I was very unhappy. I was getting cynical in my work and I didn’t like the person I was becoming. In the few years prior to that time, I had felt that God might be calling me into some form of ministry. Honestly, though, I didn’t think that God could really use someone like me, and I could not envision myself as the pastor of a church. I just figured I would continue teaching and hoped that maybe some day, things would get better. In January, 2000, I could not have imagined that I would leave teaching at the end of that academic year to pursue a career in business.

Two years ago, in January 2008, I was embarking on another “new beginning” and career change. I had finally admitted that God was indeed calling me into ministry and was in the middle of my second year of seminary coursework. Up until that point in my seminary journey, I had been working full-time, but knew that it was time to move on. Trusting that somehow all of my financial needs would be met (even with an 85% pay cut!), I gave my notice at CardioNet, trained my successor (who happened to be my sister – how cool is that?!), and prepared for my pastoral appointment at Smithville United Methodist Church, effective February 1 that year. My nearly two years as pastor at Smithville has been a great experience, and I now know with my whole being that I am doing what I was called and destined to do.

One year ago today, I was packing and preparing for my cross-cultural trip to El Salvador. I had no idea at the time what a transformative trip it would be. That experience challenged me in ways that I could have never imagined. There I was exposed to poverty and oppression as I had never seen it, causing me to re-examine my priorities and the use of my resources. Prior to the trip, I knew next to nothing about the country. I could identify it on a map and I knew that there had been a war there in the 1980s, but nothing more. Unaffected and unaware, I was in “my own little world.” But after meeting the Salvadoran people, seeing both sadness and hope in their eyes, and hearing their stories of anguish (and resiliency!), I was changed. I have a new and inexplicable passion for people that I would have never dreamed possible. I can no longer sit idly by in “my own little world,” but must work toward calling an end to injustice, not just in El Salvador, but in the communities I serve and throughout the world.

And so here we are at the beginning of another new year. I know at the outset that this will be a year of changes for me as I anticipate graduating from seminary in May, being commissioned as a provisional Elder in the Indiana Conference of the United Methodist Church in June, leaving my beloved Smithville congregation, and being appointed by Bishop Coyner to a charge “somewhere in the state of Indiana.” These are exciting, scary, bittersweet, anxious (you name the adjective!) times for me, but I am trusting the process, relying on God’s provision and presence in the midst of it all.

So what does the New Year hold for you? Whatever comes, may you know of your Creator’s deep love for you and of God’s persistent presence in your midst. Until next time, peace …

 

Synchronized Light Displays and other Christmas stuff

It has been several days since I wrote a blog post. I had a wonderful Christmas with my family. My parents, sister and brother-in-law all came to Ohio to celebrate with me this year. It was the first time in eleven years that my parents, sister and I were all together on Christmas day. Of course it would have been great if the rest of the family (Kathy and Gary’s kids and their families) could have traveled to be with us, too, but we still had a good time. I was so excited that they were able to be here for the Christmas Eve service and the Christmas program at Smithville UMC! My mom, sister, and brother-in-law even participated in the Christmas program. This was Kathy and Gary’s first time singing together in public and they did an awesome job!! We had a wonderful weekend together.

Yesterday, I did some visits with parishioners at Smithville. This is really one of my favorite aspects of my “job” as pastor. I love talking with people and hearing their stories. After the visits, my friend Joanne (the organist at the church) and I had dinner together and went through Upper Sandusky’s Fantasy of Lights display in the Harrison Smith Park. It was great!! Then we went to see a few other light displays around town. The Harbor family on Johnson Street does an amazing synchronized light display. I shot a few videos of it, although they don’t do it justice. I posted them to YouTube and have embedded them here. Enjoy!

Blessings to you and yours in the New Year! Until next time, peace …

From L to R: Gary, Kathy, me, Mom and Dad celebrating Christmas together

 

Outside the Snow is Falling …

I wakened to the best kind of snowfall here in Delaware, OH this morning – enough to blanket the grass and the trees, but not enough to deter activity. I enjoyed a nice leisurely walk around campus as the fluffy flurries gently fell to the ground. There is something beautiful about freshly fallen snow – it covers imperfections and illuminates even the most dull, dirty and dingy landscapes. It is a simple and elegant gift of creation, and reminds me of the love and grace of God that envelops and embraces us.

As much as I complain about snow, I really do love it! When I was a kid in school and even when I was teaching, I loved snow because that meant we got snow days!! As a full-fledged adult, though, my complaints about snow stem from the fact that it must be shoveled and cleaned off the car, and if the snowfall is great enough, planned activities are halted. As someone who likes to have things planned and organized, this can sometimes “rock my world.” When it snows in large amounts and I am unable to go about my normal schedule, I feel stranded or trapped. I don’t like to have my plans altered and I sometimes kick up a fuss. I know that is hard to imagine! J But once I settle in and recognize that it will eventually melt and clear, I can relax a bit and actually enjoy the slower pace. Interestingly, today’s snowfall is not one that would halt activity – I can still get out and accomplish all of the items on my agenda today. Instead, though, I am taking time to appreciate and reflect on this beautiful gift of creation (and taking pictures to remember it J). May it also be so for you today.

Until next time, peace …

Celebration of another milestone!

I am gloating at the moment as I celebrate the completion of another semester on my seminary journey. Only three required courses and 161 days stands between a Master of Divinity and me. Woot! I can’t sit idle too long as there are preparations for Christmas that need tending to and my commissioning paperwork is due January 15, but for the moment, I am resting and relaxing.

It has been a long week of paper-writing. I sat bleary-eyed in front of my computer into the wee hours of the morning several nights this week, but I am so grateful for the opportunities I have had this semester. For the final project/paper in my Liturgical prayer class, I studied healing services. I wrote about the biblical foundations for healing, the history of healing services and liturgy, defined healing within the overall ministry of the church, and then wrote some original healing liturgies and prayers. I really enjoyed this project as I feel that part of my call to ministry includes addressing issues of healing and wholeness. In the midst of the seriousness of the topic, I thought some levity might be appreciated. After writing some prayers for healing in different contexts, my final prayer was for a “weary seminary student who has completed her assignments.” This one is for all of my friends on this seminary journey …

Great Source of rest and healing,

    We thank you for the gift of learning

        and the ways in which you are revealed in our study.

    Bless your weary pilgrim as she celebrates another milestone

        on the journey to which you have called her.

    Clear her clouded mind,

    restore her strained and puffy eyes,

    tend to her tingling typing fingers,

    treat her tightened and tension-filled tendons,

    soothe and comfort her painful posterior,

    soak her in your fragrant bathing oils,

    and refresh her with your life-giving waters.

    In the name of the one who calls her by name, Amen.

Until next time, peace …

The Practice of Prayer as Procrastination – Revisited

It has been a week since I posted something … but at the moment, I am in the throes of final paper writing, and don’t have time for a full post today. I have three papers completed … and only one more to finish!! I will be doing the happy dance tomorrow, I am sure!! In honor of all students who are in the midst of finals and paper writing, I am reposting an entry that I wrote back in May when I was in the midst of my writing my Systematic Theology paper. I thought it might be an encouragement to others … or at least a source of amusement. The good news is that I haven’t found myself using prayer as a procrastination technique this week. Perhaps that means I have grown on this journey … who knows? J Anyway, enjoy! Until next time, peace …

Prayer and procrastination have been two very important practices in the life of this seminary student. This evening while sitting at my computer trying to get beyond page 8 of my 25-page Systematic Theology paper (which is due on Thursday), I discovered I have reached the penultimate with these two practices – the practice of prayer AS procrastination. As any good pray-er and pastor should do I began my prayer with confession – confessing that I should have started this paper earlier, confessing that I should have done more reading, confessing that I should have taken better notes in class … you get the idea. Then I shifted gears asking God to stir my memory with all that I had read and to give me wisdom in articulating it. As the prayer went on, I realized that I actually started begging and pleading with God for a miracle. “I mean, really, God, if you are indeed all-powerful, surely you could just make the paper appear in My Documents with proper footnotes and bibliography in Turabian style and spell-check complete. After all, you created the land and the waters, the birds of the air, the fish of the sea. You created humans and took on human form in the person of Jesus Christ. And then when he was killed you resurrected him on the third day. Surely, God, with all of that great work behind you, this systematic theology miracle I am requesting should be a piece of cake for you!” I’m not desperate or anything, am I? J

One of today’s lectionary passages was Psalm 23. As I prayed my procrastination this evening, I was reminded of “The Twenty-Third Psalm for Seminarians” that I heard during finals my first year at MTSO. The author is unknown. May it provide comfort and reassurance for all of my seminary friends and amusement for other readers of this blog.

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not flunk;
He keepeth me from lying down when I should be studying.
He leadeth me beside the water cooler for a study break;
He restoreth my faith in study guides.
He leads me to better study habits
For my grade’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of borderline grades,
I will not have a nervous breakdown;
For thou art with me.
My prayers and my friends, they comfort me.
Thou givest me answers in moments of blankness;
Thou anointest my head with understanding.
My test paper runneth over with questions I recognize.
Surely passing grades and flying colors shall follow me
All the days of my examinations,
And I shall not have to dwell in this seminary forever.

 

Heading Home from Halifax

My posts from Halifax have been very brief. I will reflect and write more once I am home and the end-of-the-semester crunch is over. We have had some wonderful experiences here in Halifax – meeting with women church leaders in the United Church of Canada and the Anglican Church, attending class at the Atlantic School of Theology, dialoguing with students at AST, and doing some “tourist” things, too. Yesterday we went to Peggy’s Cove which was absolutely beautiful! We also did some shopping and eating in downtown Halifax, and took a ferry ride from Halifax to Dartmouth and back. Below are some pics of those adventures. Getting packed and ready to head to the airport now. I look forward to blogging more of the experience over the next few days and weeks. Until next time, peace …

Lighthouse at Peggy’s Cove

Peggy’s Cove

On the drive back to Halifax from Peggy’s Cover

Four of the other scholars (Mary, Wendy, Diana, and Nan) and me on the ferry ride

Lost and Found

This will be another brief post, but I wanted to report to my friends who read yesterday’s blog that my luggage has been found! It finally arrived here at my hotel last night around 9:00. I felt like a participant in Luke 15 (the parables of the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the lost son) with much rejoicing over that which had been found! The other women on the trip rejoiced with me, too! I am sure that I can probably theologically reflect on the found luggage for quite some time, but I must get moving here. We had a long, but very good day yesterday. I will write more about all of it when I return. We seem to have “spotty” (at best) internet service at the hotel, which only seems to work in the morning. Go figure! I am off to breakfast now … the women on this trip may not recognize me today with different clothes!

Until next time, peace …

Continuation of the Halifax journey … and no luggage

This will be a very short post. We visited churches and many religious communities in Halifax yesterday, completing the day at an Advent service at the Atlantic School of Theology (AST). (Actually, the day officially ended with a visit to a convenience store so that I could purchase some toiletries because my luggage has still not caught up with me. J). Today we are spending the day at ATS, meeting with faculty and students, and some local church leaders.

The picture below is of me standing in the pulpit at St. Matthew’s United Church. This pioneering congregation has been in Halifax since 1749 (I believe it is the oldest congregation on the island).

The good thing about the picture is that you can’t really see my outfit very well – this is good because I will be wearing it in today’s pictures, too! Today is Day 3 in the same clothing, but at least I was able to rinse everything out in the sink. I am hopeful that the luggage will arrive today, but in the event that it doesn’t, I am going to be doing some shopping today! I’ve needed some new clothes anyway.

Until next time, peace …